


If Only We Knew Each Other's Pain

by Prinssess61



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Lots of Crying, Sad, definitely no happy ending, im totally not projecting either, ive had lots of feelings ok?, no happy ending, no never mind, unless, unless maybe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:08:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23287534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prinssess61/pseuds/Prinssess61
Summary: Deceit has always longed for all the Dark Sides to be accepted and that was his objective when he first sent Virgil to the Light Sides. Now he hates himself for that decision. At least if he had kept Virgil with him he wouldn't feel so alone.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	If Only We Knew Each Other's Pain

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warnings: crying, suicidal thoughts, let me know if I should add anything
> 
> Pairings/Ships: past romantic Anxceit (or platonic if you want to interpret it that way)
> 
> This is really sad and angsty and I'm totally not projecting

Deceit was hanging back in the shadows, watching as Anxiety popped in for his first episode. He was doing great. When the episode was over both Deceit and Anxiety went back home. " _Horrible_ job, Virgil. That was absolutely _awful_."

Virgil smirked. "Thanks."

A sudden rattling and snarling made both of them jump. It came from Creativity's door. Deceit walked over and carefully and slowly opened the door.

"Finally! I thought you were never coming back!" Remus groaned.

"Remus, you know that we _can_ leave you here alone unsupervised," Deceit said, giving him a look.

"You should really trust me more snakey," Remus said wiggling his fingers aimlessly.

Deceit huffed and sat down on the couch. "Remus, you _wouldn't_ burn everything or explode it."

"Maybe, maybe not! It would be fun to see what would happen. Or as Logic would say, 'For science!'"

Virgil smiled at them before heading up to his room.

~~~~

Lately, Anxiety had been getting distant. He didn't smirk as much or respond as much either. There were some days when he would come back and go straight to his room, not even looking at Deceit or Remus. He wouldn't look at Deceit, who still hid in the shadows, during the videos. He just didn't interact with them anymore.

Then one episode, he ducked out. Deceit had spent an hour trying to get into his room, but it was no use. Then the 'Light Sides' came and talked to him. Virgil had let them into his room but not Deceit, and Deceit felt a little betrayed.

Then his room vanished. Deceit lurked in the shadows for the next video and figured out why Virgil's door had disappeared. He moved to the Lightscape. He had left Deceit and Remus, _abandoned_ them.

Deceit was crushed. He tried getting Virgil's attention, but Virgil just ignored him.

Deceit went straight to his room after letting Remus out, not caring about the damage he could cause. He grabbed his pillow and started crying. He didn't eat that night, and hardly slept. This continued the next day. And the next. And the next, until Deceit stopped counting how many days it had been since he had left his room.

~~~~

This was his one chance to see Virgil smile or at least get Virgil to look at him. Deceit adjusted the cardigan around his shoulders. He looked at himself in his mirror and plastered on a fake smile. It had been a year since Virgil had left. Remus was more destructive as ever, most likely trying to cope with the loss of his friend. Deceit had pretty much lost the ability to feel happiness or any good emotion really. All he could feel was sadness and emptiness.

This episode would be different. This episode everyone would be able to see that he was just trying to help.

~~~~

The anger in Virgil's eyes burned in Deceit's memory. It was like Virgil had never cared for Deceit. It was as if he thought Deceit never cared for him. The image wouldn't leave Deceit's head. He curled up in a ball underneath his bed and held back the tears as long as he could. He heard Remus open his door, but didn't give him a chance to speak. "GET OUT!" Deceit yelled at him and Remus quickly shut the door and went downstairs.

He couldn't hold them back anymore. The tears came like waterfalls and Deceit wished, not for the first time, that he could just end it. End his miserable existence. It would make everyone happier. Thomas wouldn't lie so much anymore. Remus could do whatever he wanted. Patton, Roman, and Logan wouldn't have to worry about him messing things up. And Virgil... Virgil wouldn't have to look at his face ever again.

~~~~

Virgil ran to his room, slammed the door, and locked it. He grabbed his old jacket and curled up with it on the floor. He wished he could make things right. He wished he could tell Deceit that he didn't hate him. That he was only acting that way for Patton, Roman, and Logan. That he wanted to curl up with Deceit and watch a movie like he used to. But he couldn't, because now Deceit hated him. And that was never going to change.


End file.
